It has been a whirlwind of ups and downs the past couple of weeks. I apologize for not posting as often as I had planned during the last week. I’m very grateful for all the responses to our journey and my book. People have shared parts of their journey with me; both highs and lows. It’s been an emotional time.
I have heard from some who just don’t want to talk or read about the disease affecting their loved ones and their family members. I’m hopeful for their healing as I reflect on the fact that they’ve contacted me to share their sorrow.
I’m such a “need to know”, “heart on my sleeve” person. I have to apologize for not being more conscious of those very deep feelings. I should have been as I remember the first days when we had so much to learn and face and how each of us in our own way did not want to know anymore than we absolutely had to know. We didn’t want to have to face what lie ahead. We wanted it to be a very bad dream that would go away when we awoke. It didn’t go away. We had to face it and survive. Now we can, at times, talk about the heart-wrenching moments with each other and we can share the happier times with great love.
I’m sad for those who have such a difficult time trying to heal from all the wounds Alzheimer’s Disease causes. I have always referred to those wounds as “perpetual sorrow”. It’s a sorrow that lies just beneath your skin and without even a second’s notice erupts to bring on full-fledged sorrow which stirs up all the emotion you thought you had put to rest.
Perhaps it will always be that way. I was, however, encouraged the other day when another blogger wrote she finds the memories of her mother prior to Alzheimer’s Disease are becoming stronger as the memories of the years with the disease are fading at least a little. I think it’s important to hang onto our memories of our loved one, who they were, their many accomplishments, loves, hobbies, their successes and failures that made them they person we love.
I don’t have answers, just our/my experiences. I invite you to share yours here as you are able. Perhaps we can help each other on our respective and unique journeys. ~ Lynda